I miss blogging.
I miss my space. I miss my old apartment with my old relationship that wasn’t complicated or full with future possibilities.
I guess blog is one of frustration.
I don’t exactly remember the last time I blogged or even what the topic was about, but its been a long time since I’ve bitched about my life so why not today…the weather is PERFECT.
About 2 months ago Dion and I moved back together. The decision was a tough one and it definitely was not taken in vain.
The move itself wasn’t as stressful as my past. Perhaps because we each took a role and stuck to the script. Dion was in charge of the truck and assembling the finest group of potheads in the land to get our stuff moved. SUCCESS!
What I failed to recognize was the additional responsibility that I would be taking on by moving back in together. Tasks such as laundry, cleaning the apartment and locating a meal where much more simpler when I only had myself to impress. And now…I have balance these tasks along with managing class, oh and my stressful job…yeah…about that.
So my frustration…
I’m frustrated that I couldn’t keep it together in our argument earlier. That I actually let your foolish, childish behaviors get under my skin. More importantly, I’m disappointed that old Krys reacted at not being heard.
I’m frustrated that I couldn’t express my emotions or redirected my argument. That I just couldn’t give in to the points that were being made.
Looking back at the argument, I’m embarrassed. I can’t seem to understand what goes wrong with me. Perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed so much. Maybe I am not equipped to understand the inner workings of a man.
I just know that I am sorry. For once instead of worrying about where my future will land me, I’m left wondering where my present will take me.
Another lesson. Some things just are not worth the fight.